ABOUT CRUMBS AREN'T ENOUGH
With $80,000 in student debt, an alter ego named Crazy Charlie, and more than her fair share of hang-ups, Charlie Bennett is on a mission: a mission to feel better about herself.
By all accounts this shouldn't be too difficult. After all, Charlie has graduated from the best universities, has good friends to keep her sane, and an impressive resume to boot. But her poor choices in men (and therapists) have left Charlie feeling fat, fretful, and fed up. She knows something has to change--she's just not sure what.
When the elevator doors open and Jack Hudson appears with his perfect smile and perfect teeth, Charlie thinks she's found her answer. A Taye Diggs lookalike who sees through Charlie's imperfections, Jack could be The One--and not just because he can make strawberry shortcake from scratch. But as their relationship develops without any sign of a commitment, Charlie is left grabbing for crumbs yet again.
What are you most proud of accomplishing so far in your
life?
I am most proud of two
accomplishments in my life: Crumbs Aren’t
Enough and the Baltimore Bee.
First, I am, of
course, very proud of writing and publishing my first novel. It was an
extremely long and difficult process and I am so thankful to have completed it.
If you want to learn more, visit raquelwhiting.com and check out my Behind the
Pages series where I talk about all that it took to put this novel out.
Second, I am most
proud of the Baltimore Bee, which is the
Baltimore regional spelling bee. I moved back to Baltimore in August 2005 and
realized that Baltimore did not have a citywide spelling bee. While most of the
other counties and regions in Maryland had a bee, Baltimore did not and I
wanted to change that. So, my friend Daniel Wilcox, who played with the
Baltimore Ravens, and I started the Baltimore Bee. Since we started in 2006,
we’ve held eight bees featuring more than 400 spellers from 30 schools
throughout Baltimore City and Baltimore County. Each year our annual winner represents
the region at the Scripps National Bee.
How has your upbringing influenced your writing?
I grew up in Baltimore
with my mom. She is a great mom who worked really hard to give me an
opportunity to succeed. She worked two jobs and sacrificed to send me to
excellent schools. Even though times were tough a lot, my mom taught me from a
young age that no matter how little we had, we always had something to give. So
she instilled in me a commitment to service from a young age. I volunteered in
tutoring programs, served as a candy striper in the emergency room of an inner
city hospital, and worked at a homeless shelter for women. From this service
mentality that my mom ingrained in me, I knew from a young age that I wanted to
have purpose and meaning in my life and I write with this in mind.
Even though I am
writing novels that are funny and entertaining, I want them to also share
messages and have meaning. For example, as I wrote Crumbs Aren’t Enough, I thought about all of the women struggling
in bad relationships – and while I would never purport to be a relationships “expert,”
I have been in that struggle. Through the novel, I wanted to share the lessons
I’d learned. I plan to write two more books following Charlie Bennett through
her relationship development. While all of my novels may not focus on personal
relationship challenges, the common thread will be sharing messages through
entertaining storytelling.
When and why did you begin writing?
I actually didn’t get hit with the writing bug
until I decided to write a novel. What made me write a novel? Let me tell you,
during this close to six-year journey, I have asked myself this question many
times. It all started in the summer of 2007. I had on my heart to start a
website, perfectlyme.com, to encourage people (mostly women and girls) to love
themselves despite what others might consider flaws and imperfections. I got
the website up by the end of August and started blogging. While writing content
for the site, I started to think about my own journey to self-acceptance. And I
started to feel the pull to write a book to share that journey. My first title
was My Journey to Perfectly Me. But,
despite the title, I didn’t want it to be a memoir or self-help book. I wanted
it to be fiction based on my life. I wanted to be able to change the names and
embellish or play down events in order to drive home certain points. If you
want to really get a sense of my original thought, check out the Crumbs Aren’t Enough prologue, which I
wrote from my perspective – not the perspective of the main character, Charlie.
I started writing right after Thanksgiving
that year. It seemed so easy. I finished a chapter every couple of weeks. I
couldn’t believe people made such a big deal about writing a novel, I was
killing it. I finished the first draft in early May 2008 and I thought I was
done. I decided to change the name to Perfectly
Me? At the time, my story was so personally infused in the novel that I
wanted to carry on the Perfectly Me
brand. My friend, Allyson Jones, graciously offered to read it and provide
editorial comments for me. (Thank God she did. She started me on my way to the
novel I just released.) I happily accepted. I thought it would be great to have
another set of eyes on my masterpiece.
Remember, I thought I was finished. So I
expected mere grammatical changes nothing more. I just knew that my story line,
character development, and plot development were perfect. You know what they
say, pride goeth before the fall. When she returned the edits to me, I fell
hard. There was so much blue ink. I am sure Allyson, an acupuncturist and
professor at Tai Sophia, used blue ink to make it look less aggressive than red
ink, but I felt sick. A lot of her
changes were developmental and I was not prepared for that at all. She
shockingly wanted more dialogue where all I had done was narrate a scene. She
wanted more development around the characters’ personalities. The reason I said
“shockingly” was because I realized after getting her feedback that I hadn’t
even read a novel in years so I was probably the least suited person to write
one. Lucky for me, I had just quit my job so I had some time to do all of the
work required.
Ok, so I had just quit my job and I wasn’t
starting my new job until three months later. I figured this was perfect. I
would have three months to wrap up this final draft. I knew it would be hard
but I was committed to knocking it out. I treated the novel like it was my job.
I woke up every morning showered and headed to the coffee shop. I usually
worked at the Firehouse in the Canton Square. I would work for eight hours and
then go home and have dinner. I finished what I again believed was the final
draft within that time period. I felt confident this time. I had developed the
characters more, expanded the dialogue, and set the scenes appropriately. I was
so happy and I celebrated by hanging out with a friend at Grand Cru and then
visiting my friend Traci at Pazo. I started my new job and I excitedly waited
for Allyson’s feedback on my masterpiece. Two months later, Allyson returned
that draft with almost just as much red ink. I was again devastated. I couldn’t
believe that after all of my dedicated hard work, I was again back to the
drawing board with significant work to do. The difference this time was I had a
new job that was very demanding. So now I basically had a second job. I had to
excel at my day job which was almost like having a job and a half and work on
revising my novel in the evenings and on weekends. It took me another year to
complete the third draft. Allyson and I worked together on the fourth draft,
editing it together. It felt complete finally. It had been four years and I was
ready to share my “baby” with the world. But it wasn’t time yet.
I didn’t finally “give
birth” until two years and two drafts later. I am very proud of the end product
but it was a long process as you can see.
What genre are you most comfortable writing?
I am most comfortable writing Chicklit. I love
that that novels in this genre focus on female heroines who are usually flawed
like Charlie Bennett, the main character of Crumbs
Aren’t Enough. And in the end you get to cheer on this flawed heroine as
she battles personal and professional challenges. A friend recently asked me,
“Have you always loved Chicklit?” As I thought about my answer, I remembered
when I was first introduced to the genre and felt guilty. I had a confession to
make. I nervously shared with her, “This is going to sound terrible from a
Chicklit author but it’s the truth and it’s important for me to be open and
honest. Please don’t judge me. So prior to 2005, I actually didn’t read
Chicklit novels or any novels to be exact. I was more of a political or
business book kind of girl. I remember going to the Bahamas with my friend
Rebecca and she was reading a romance novel and I was reading David Gergen’s Eyewitness to Power. She turned to me on
the beach and said, “Are you seriously reading that book on the beach?” I
honestly didn’t think anything was wrong with my reading choice. See I always
had an interest in politics and history and those are the kinds of books I
enjoyed reading and I never really saw reading as an escape. And then a friend
shared Something Borrowed with me and my eyes were opened to this smart, funny
genre of Chicklit.” She laughed at my pseudo confession. I can be melodramatic
at times to say the least. Anyway, I was hooked on Chicklit after reading Emily
Giffin’s books.
For those of you, who
are not familiar with Emily Giffin – she is awesome. Something Borrowed, her first novel, focuses on the
friendship/competition between Rachel and Darcy. I think we’ve all had a bestie
who we love but with whom feel like we are in some sort of unspoken/undeclared
competition. Well, Darcy and Rachel are no different except Darcy always seems
to win except when it comes to Dex. I don’t want to give away too much of the
plot in case you haven’t read it yet. But, it was a great read and so began my
love affair with Chicklit. I was so intrigued with this genre that I had been
missing out on that I went back and read some of the classics – Bridget Jones’s Diary and The Devil Wears Prada. I love female
heroines who are flawed and loveable. Aren’t we all in some way? Well I
definitely am and so is Charlie Bennett, my Chicklit heroine. As far as some of
my recent favorites, I thoroughly enjoyed On
Dublin Street by Samantha Young. Jocelyn, the main character, has had some
truly awful things happen in her life and has experienced tremendous loss. She
moves to Edinburgh to start fresh and meets the mysterious, super good-looking
Braden Carmichael. It is a little Fifty
Shade-ish and does not disappoint. Ok, full disclosure, it has some steamy
sex scenes, which are racier than my taste but it is mild compared to Fifty Shades of Grey. On Dublin Street is a great read –
engaging with great character development. I’m currently reading Thirty Two Going on Spinster by Becky
Monson. Julia, the main character, is in a rut – going nowhere professionally
and living in her parents’ basement. She is very amusing and gets into some
quirky situations like Charlie from Crumbs
Aren’t Enough. I am only a third of the way through the book but I know it
is going to be one of my faves. Next on my “to read” list, in all of my spare
time, is Dangerous Curves Ahead – A
Perfect Fit Novel by Sugar Jamison.
What inspired you to write your first book?
I was inspired to
write my first book because of my own personal relationship challenges. Like
Charlie, the main character, I accepted a lot of crumbs from men I dated. I had
lots of crappy relationships and I couldn’t figure out why. This went on for
years. I wanted to have a great relationship, I wanted to get married, but I
couldn’t seem to attract the right guys or develop positive romantic
experiences. Then, I found an amazing therapist who helped me change my life. Throughout
the therapy process, I learned that a big part of my problem was that I didn’t
think “I was good enough.” Not even good enough for the crappy men I was
dating. This feeling was the direct result of my low self-esteem.
My self-esteem was low
for a lot of reasons and if you are interested in hearing more please contact
me at raquelwhiting.com. But, needless to say I didn’t feel good about myself
and that needed to change. I had to build myself up before I could even think
about getting involved with anyone romantically. When I finally got to that
place of feeling good about myself and knowing that I was “good enough,” I
could start attracting the right relationships.
I don’t think I was
alone in this struggle. In fact, I’ve watched some of my friends go through the
same battle. So I wanted to share with women some of the lessons I learned
during my journey to self-love and acceptance. I want others who are in crappy
relationships to know that there is a different way. They can have better
relationships and they should demand them. I’ve had people ask me why I didn’t
write a self-help book or a memoir instead of a novel. My answer is always the
same – while I am passionate about helping women feel better about themselves
and hence attract the right relationships, I am not an expert and I don’t ever
want to give people the impression that I have all the answers. But, I believe
I am a great storyteller and I hope the story that is weaved in Crumbs Aren’t Enough will help other
women get to the place where they are seeking out the best relationships. I
hope women can relate with Charlie and learn from her clear mistakes. She is
such a fun woman and she is easy to love – and when you love her, you want the
best for her.
Who or what influenced your writing once you began?
As I shared earlier, I
read Something Borrowed, absolutely
loved it, and fell in love with the Chicklit genre. Emily Giffin not only
entertained me but she inspired me to start writing. I first read her novels
around the same time that I started building my perfectly me self-esteem
programs. As I thought about how to share the message with more women, I had on
my heart to write a Chicklit novel that was funny and engaging but also dealt
with this important issue with which so many women struggle. I love Emily
Giffin’s style and it definitely influenced my writing. I remember staying up
all night to find out what was going to happen between Dex and Rachel. I wanted
people to feel the same way reading Crumbs
Aren’t Enough. One of the best compliments I’ve received was when one of my
readers said that my style was similar to Emily’s. I was over the moon because
I had hoped to draw readers in to my characters the same way that I was drawn
in to Rachel and Darcy’s worlds in Something
Borrowed and Something Blue. Emily
Giffin also inspired me because she’s a former lawyer, who figured out how to
turn her passion into a full-time career, which is my aspiration.
What do you consider the most challenging about writing a
novel, or about writing in general?
The most challenging
part for me is basically not being able to write full time. My typical day
usually includes about 9-10 hours at work. I am an executive at a K-12
education company and it’s a pretty demanding job. I have to work hard to fit
in time for writing. I spoke to another writer recently and she told me how she
writes during her lunch break. I felt so jealous because I am usually on
conference calls or in meetings during lunch so I don’t get that daytime
writing. When I get home, I have dinner and get to work on my passion, writing.
I wish I could write all day. Charlie has more to tell and I want to make sure
I get it out quickly.
Do you intend to make writing a career?
Yes, I plan on making
writing a full-time career. I don’t know when that will happen but it’s my
goal. Until then, I will keep plugging away late at night and early in the
morning.
What is your favorite quality about yourself?
My favorite quality is
that I am determined – I am always determined to finish anything I start. This
novel is a perfect example. Once I started, I had to finish it no matter what. I’ve
been like this since I was very young. The word quit is not in my vocabulary.
What is your least favorite quality about yourself?
My least favorite
quality is how hard I am on myself. I don’t ever give myself a break – if I
don’t do it right the first time or if I don’t do things “perfectly” I tend to
come down hard on myself. I am working toward recognizing and appreciating my
own humanity and understanding that everything I do is not going to be perfect
and it’s ok if I fail or make a mistake.
What is your favorite quote, by whom, and why?
My favorite quote is, “When I let go of what I
am, I become what I might be” by Lao Tzu. I love this quote because I believe
that letting go of all of the ideas we hold about who we should be and who we
were in the past allows us to enjoy our lives and ultimately become who we are
supposed to be. Letting go of that past opens up space for all the
possibilities of the future. I know this probably sounds cliché but it’s like a
caterpillar that has to let go of being a caterpillar in order to become a
butterfly. This quote challenges me to let go of my past-self daily to open up
possibilities for my future.